Quotes about Humor

There are times for all of us when all the laughter seems to be gone, but we should not permit these periods to last too long. When we've lost our sense of humor, there isn't very much left. We become ridiculous. We must then go to war against the whole world, and that's a war we cannot win.

The real marriage of true minds is for any two people to possess a sense of humor or irony pitched in exactly the same key, so that their joint glances on any subject cross like interarching searchlights.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S.

Confucius say: "Baseball wrong — man with four balls cannot walk."

And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!"

Grandmas don't just say "that's nice" — they reel back and roll their eyes and throw up their hands and smile. You get your money's worth out of grandmas.

Traveler: "God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer." Farmer: "You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around."

I don't do alcohol anymore — I get the same effect just standing up fast.

You know you live in Phoenix when you've experienced condensation on your butt cheeks from the hot water evaporating in the toilet bowl.

Snaughling: Laughing so hard you snort, then laugh because you snorted, then snort because you laughed.

This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.