Quotes about Humor

I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

I always take life with a grain of salt. . . plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

May God protect me from gloomy saints.

One of my favorite authors (okay, my favorite nonfiction author) is Robert Benson. His word choices bring me a sense of calm humor, peace, a deeper understanding of God's heart and mind

The tears coursed down her cheeks - not freely, however, for when they came into contact with her heavily beaded eyelashes they assumed an inky color, and pursued the rest of their way in slow black rivulets. A humorous suggestion was made that she sing the notes on her face whereupon she threw up her hands, sank into a chair and went off into a deep vinous sleep.

When kids run up to me and ask, 'What happened?' I just lean over and whisper, 'Cigarettes.' And once I was in a car and this girl at traffic lights was giving me the eye. She could only see my head, so I decided to do a 360 in the car seat to freak her out. Her face was like, 'Whoa, what is going on?' She sped off really quickly.

The book, '12 Rules For Life,' is a very serious book. There's elements of humor in it, but I'm trying to struggle with things at the deepest possible level and to explain to people why it's necessary to live a upstanding and noble and moral and truthful and responsible life, and why there's hell to pay if you don't do that.

We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: 'Boy, you are skinny, aren't you?' I said: 'Honey, I'd like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.'

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.

The next time you're tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead.