Quotes about Humor

A commission of haberdashers could alone have reported what the rest of her poor dress was made of, but it had a strong general resemblance to seaweed, with here and there a gigantic tea-leaf. Her shawl looked particularly like a tea-leaf after long infusion.

That's the pint, sir,' interposed Sam; 'out vith it, as the father said to the child, wen he swallowed a farden.

If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a man more blest in a laugh than Scrooge's nephew, all I can say is, I should like to know him too. Introduce him to me, and I'll cultivate his acquaintance.

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

I have a special pair of poop shoes under my desk. Whenever I need to drop a deuce, I slip them on and scurry to the restroom, and no one ever knows it's me. Like, if I'm wearing Louboutins that day, and my producer sees Earth shoes in the stall....well, you get the idea. It was truly a lightbulb moment when that came to me.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I love hearing my relations abused. It is the only thing that makes me put up with them at all. Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

Now produce your explanation and pray make it improbable.

Imagination is a quality that was given to man compensate him from whats not. The sense of humor was given to console him from what is.

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.