Quotes about Boundaries

We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please. And it's not just because of the vicious cycles of people pleasing, although that's part of it. I miss Best Yes opportunities sometimes because I simply don't know they're part of the equation. I get all twisted up in making the decision to check either the Yes or No box, not realizing there is a third box that reads Best Yes.

placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves.

I know the weight of carrying more than I should. And usually it's because I've refused to release something before taking on something else. If I want to choose a Best Yes, it's crucial I make room for it first. Otherwise, a Best Yes can quickly become a stressed yes. And a stressed yes is like snow on a tree that refuses to release its leaves. It causes cracks and breaks at our core.

What numbers us imprisons us.

we must not confuse the disease to please with the command to love.

Love can be unconditional but relational access never should be

I realized that neither Paul nor Barnabas were bad people. They were good people. But they weren't good together. And that's okay. It's so much healthier to be brave enough to go your separate ways than to keep stuffing and drown in a sea of bitterness.

I acknowledge that I can control only myself. I can't control how another person acts or reacts.

had the wrong notion that to be a Christian requires that we believe the best no matter what. That it's unkind to draw boundaries. That it's noble and commendable to stay in a relationship no matter what. I no longer believe that.

You see, whenever we live in relationship, whenever we simply live in proximity to other people, sooner or later we will run up against their issues—the unhealed or unholy parts of their personalities. Just as they will run into ours. Living in community is like a pack of porcupines sharing the same den. We will get stuck.

The boundaries became constrictive in what I was doing, and if my faith grew, it was because I pressed some of the boundaries in ways I hadn't felt comfortable or responsible doing that before.

I soon learned there was a very Indian habit of asking personal questions.